CHAPTER 1: What Sex Toys Do For Your Quality Of Life

My ex-boyfriend was good for one thing: he introduced me to sex toys and their uses. We talked about trying one in the bedroom, and though I was embarrassed, I was curious.

Baby, at the end of the day — my dick doesn’t vibrate.”

I told him hesitantly “I’m nervous that my body will grow to like the toy more than you.”

He replied, “Baby, at the end of the day — my dick doesn’t vibrate.”

When my good-for-one-thing ex told me this, it resonated. It was one opinion about sex toys I couldn’t refute. Sex toys blow past the limits of normal human anatomy. And we can use their powers to discover our sexual potential and even orgasm for health. Not to mention they are just downright fun.

Why Sex Toys? Have An Orgasm

Our general understanding of a woman’s orgasm is clear as mud. And while most think a man’s orgasm is simpler, that’s not always the case. Sex toys can be our greatest teachers on what our bodies crave. Knowing your body means understanding how to orgasm.

Sex toys equal orgasms. Their mechanical advantages arouse your body faster. Once your body is turned on, you can wax and wane the stimulation of whichever body part you’re toying.


Sex toys can give us super hard delayed orgasms or remarkably fast quickies. The point of sex toys isn’t always busting out a bunch of back-to-back O’s. For most of us, sex toys extend the arousal period and postpone the climax. And if you know a thing about delayed gratification — it pays off.

Most of us still think of orgasms as some neat thing we discovered under the covers when we were twelve. They still have a taboo secrecy, as though we aren’t entitled to them.

A lot of us feel, for harmful reasons, that having orgasms with toys implies some kind of ethical breach. That’s not true. Old school, organized institutions just conditioned us with this misinformed mindset. Talk about a buzz kill.

Because our bodies are ours, toy orgasms (or toygasms) are a fundamental right. Sex toys finally demystify orgasms by placing them right in the drawers of our nightstand. That’s sexual empowerment, for every party involved.  

And here’s an important question to anyone touting orgasm guilt: if orgasms are evil, why are they so amazing for our health?

Some Neat Orgasm Health Facts

If someone told you French fries and a chocolate shake were healthy, wouldn’t you feel elated? How about if they started paying you for taking naps?

Maybe I have my priorities mixed up, but this is how I felt when I learned orgasms are healthy. I realized there is a God after all, hiding right beneath my bed sheets.

Regular orgasms are highly correlated with a greater quality of life, according to the Journal of Sexual Medicine. And a lot of that pertains to the health benefits that follow your O face.

I realized there is a God after all, hiding right beneath my bed sheets.”

Orgasms For Women’s Health

Every time a woman orgasms, a unicorn is born. We all know that. But what you might not know is that orgasms flood your body with do-good hormones. These hormones improve your brain function and possibly even cardiovascular health.

News flash, they also make you happy. Orgasms release oxytocin, a hormone that spikes your endorphin levels.Besides making you feel like a modern day Aphrodite, endorphins flush away cortisol. Cortisol is the nasty hormone that turns us into stress-monkeys, and no one needs more of it. (Elevated cortisol levels are linked to poor immunity, low bone density, weight gain, high blood pressure, depression, and basically every health dilemma out there.)

Oxytocin also acts as a natural painkiller, numbing menstrual cramps, headaches, and the like. Speaking of menstruation, women orgasming at least once a week have more regular cycles.

If you aren’t sold yet, just wait. Women who orgasm regularly look ten years younger, according to study by neuropsychologist David Weeks.

Orgasms For Men’s Health

Men and women share the orgasmic health benefits that come from hormones, for the most part. Male orgasms also signal a flush of endorphins, leading to decrease in stress and pain levels.

When it comes to the health of guys’ orgasms, ejaculation is the concentration. A study by the National Cancer Institute showed that men who experienced more than 21 orgasms per month were 30 percent less likely to get prostate cancer than men who had less than seven.

Another study revealed men in their twenties that had five or more orgasms per week had a 33 percent less chance to experience aggressive prostate cancer. The theories are fuzzy but the bottom line is clear: it’s healthy to drain the pipes.

Men’s orgasms also highly correlate with longevity. If you have more orgasms, you live longer to experience more orgasms. What a beautiful cycle.

(And in case you hadn’t heard, the outdated myths of orgasms causing blindness and hair loss are not grounded in any science whatsoever.)

What Is The Right Age To Buy Sex Toys?

Before we get started, remember how old you were when you first started playing with yourself.

Most laws assert you have to be 18 to buy adult toys or even enter a sex shop, although many of us began fooling around long before. Your opinion on the matter depends on your background and beliefs, but it’s important to keep it legal.

The legal age of consent for sexual interactions is 16 years old, but research shows we’re horny before that (duh). Based on the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 63 percent of boys and 43 percent of girls masturbated at least once by the time they were 14.

I’ll take a vibrator to my grave.

We become curious about our bodies early, though some are more curious than others. It’s entirely up to parents for those who are underage, but allowing teens to explore their sexuality is healthy. And if they choose to do it with a sex toy, then perhaps they are off to a good start. In this case, when it comes to how old to buy sex toys, the responsibility falls on parents.

As far as those who are legal adults and older, sex toys are appropriate for anyone who desires them. There is no decree against older people using sex toys. In fact, sex toys are encouraged for elderly people who want to maintain their sex drive. I’ll take a vibrator to my grave.

Sex Toys And Pregnancy

Just because you’re pregnant, doesn’t mean you have to lock the sex toys away with the skinny jeans. Instead, using a vibrator during pregnancy might become your biggest craving.

Pregnancy pumps your body with extra estrogen and progesterone, which enlarge and lubricate your vagina.  These hormones have the potential to make your clitoris and internal pleasure points extra sensitive. There’s a good chance you’ll have more fun with your toys when you are pregnant.

Before you start playing, check in with a doctor to verify that it’s safe. Since your body is more sensitive, you may have to buy a vibrator with gentler vibrations.

Several notes to keep in mind:

  • Keep your sex toy clean
  • Be extra careful with anal toys. Pregnant women are prone to hemorrhoids that can bleed with too much pressure. Anal toys must stay away from your vagina to prevent harmful infections.
  • Ensure that your toy has zero phthalates (read the next chapter for safety tips). Stay away from scents and colors that seem artificial.

Above all, be gentle when using sex toys during your pregnancy. If you are careful, you can only enjoy playing and pleasuring. As you were, sexy mama.

Not all sex toys are created equally. And many of the chemicals found in popular sex toy brands can actually cause major health problems. Read on to learn which toys are medically sound… and which could put you in the ER. Go to Chapter 2: Sex Toy Safety